


Forever Helpless

by peterpan_in_neverland



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 05:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11434578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterpan_in_neverland/pseuds/peterpan_in_neverland
Summary: What if Eliza noticed first?





	Forever Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> Told from third person, mainly focusing on Eliza. Hope you enjoy!

The candlelight burned brightly, adding to the dreamlike atmosphere that had enveloped the room. 

Angelica had just walked away from a ragged-looking soldier boy-- some of them cleaned up nice, some didn't. “That John Laurens is a laugh, you should go speak with him, Eliza,” she suggested, her eyes glowing. 

This was a game they often played. Angelica had always said, even from childhood, that she had to evaluate anyone-- male, usually-- before Eliza and Peggy could speak with them. Really, Angelica knew that they could hold her own, but it was a leftover endearment from the days that Eliza's shyness had controlled her, and Peggy had been quite vulnerable to getting her feelings hurt. 

“No, I think he's taken a liking to Peggy.” She nodded toward their youngest sister. She was busy dancing with John, who was all curls and freckles. As they watched, John grabbed her hand, and they slipped away stealthily. 

“Did they really just-” 

“Most definitely,” Eliza confirmed, giggling quietly. “Peggy is a bit of a wild card.” A song they knew started up, and Angelica floated off almost immediately. Angelica usually did that-- falling into the dance floor and choosing a partner at random. Doing that made Eliza uncomfortable, and so she nearly always hung back.

Eliza knew almost no one here, so she busied herself by watching. She enjoyed the movement of people as they danced. The swirling skirts, the fluid movements of arms and legs, the gentle heat from the room. It was enjoyable to watch, and enjoyable to participate in. 

Eliza caught the movement of three men, sneaking back into the room, from the corner of her eye. A tall man, his tight curls pulled back into a ponytail behind his head, lead the trio. Another one, a hat covering his hair. He seemed to be made almost entirely of muscle. Finally, the last slipped in, and Eliza's heart thudded. A warming feeling of helplessness overtook her. His dark hair was pulled back behind his head, and his equally as dark eyes shone intelligently. He slipped onto the dance floor just as the song ended, but didn't hurry off as others did. 

Eliza found him again, glimpsing him in conversation with someone. She concentrated. The edge of the woman's peach coloured dress was visible, but not her face. 

Eliza moved from the spot she had been in, and she turned, just enough to catch a small view of the woman's face and--  _ no.  _

Eliza knew her sisters. She knew Peggy. Knew her jokes and smiles, knew her moods and feelings and witty remarks, knew the quiet sense of adventure hiding under the worry of upsetting their gentle father. 

She knew Angelica. Knew her thoughts hidden behind her eyes, knew her intelligence that rested in her mind, knew the protectiveness that resided in her bones and swam in her blood. She knew her hidden away vulnerability. She knew her sister's mind, knew that she was quick-witted and smart, knew that she thought in one million directions all at once but was able to  _ handle it _ . She knew Angelica's occasional skipping over words, mispronouncing and repeating them meant that her brain was moving too quickly and she couldn't keep up. She knew Angelica's emotional wall that she wore to protect her sisters, knew it had been up since Angelica was ten years old. 

And as she watched their conversation, as carefully calculated as a sword fight, as languid as a silent dance, and she knew within an instant that Angelica had met her match. Someone that could keep up with her, could complement her intelligence and wit. Someone that her sister could be satisfied with. 

The helpless feeling didn't dull as she knew it should, instead it grew, settling into her heart and latching onto her soul.  _ No, no, no, no,  _ **_no_ ** . 

“It's meant to be,” Eliza whispered to herself, though she wasn't sure what she meant. Angelica and this man, they were meant to be, she could see it. The intellectuality, the intelligence and wit, it was clearly there and put together, neat as a newly wrapped present. 

A thought seized her--  _ Angelica would know _ . 

Eliza was not the only one who knew their sisters-- Angelica knew her, could read her like a book. A terrible side effect of wearing her heart on her sleeve, of never feeling as though she had to hide her feelings. And that was the one thing that would damn Angelica to knowing. 

Eliza had to get out of the room, out of the heat that now felt as if it was choking her. She left out of the door that Alexander had entered, and was greeted with the careful night sky, the cool air. 

It looked as though the sun had just set; there were bright streaks of red and pink to her right, and the sky was a heavy black lined with blue, like unmixed paint that had been applied to a canvas. Stars dotted the darker end of the sky, glittering like precious stones. 

Eliza crossed her arms over herself, her fingernails digging into the skin at her shoulder blades, as if she could lock her feelings back inside her, deep in a place that would never be seen, even by the one person that could read her soul. She let out a breath, tears falling with it unguarded. A quiet sob slipped out, wiping desperately at her cheeks. 

Since Peggy was somewhere with the freckled boy, Angelica would come looking for her first. Come to talk about the man. Eliza had to prepare herself, had to hide her feelings. 

Indeed, she had been right. She heard footsteps, then her sister's voice, questioning: “Eliza?” 

She let out a deep breath, wiped her cheeks one last time, and locked away her soul the best she could. “I'm over here, Angelica.” Angelica found her, a smile chasing its way onto her face. 

“You'll never believe it, the most amazing thing, Eliza…” her sister began. The happiness was on her, lying on her skin and swimming in the deep brown of her eyes. 

“Tell me all about it, Angelica.” 

“Oh, he's so charming and intelligent and handsome, and witty! He's everything I've ever  _ dreamed  _ of, Eliza!” 

Eliza took both of Angelica's hands in her own. “I'm happy for you, Angelica.” 

Eliza would do anything for her sisters, even if it meant her being forever helpless. 


End file.
